Social Media is the New “Second Shift”
And, just like housework, I’m sick of it.
A few years ago, I was working as a political campaign manager. This job included many moving parts: budgeting, canvassing, volunteer recruitment, and most importantly in this day and age, social media management. Social media is where the people are at, supposedly, but the reality is that most people hate social media. It is impersonal at times, mostly overwhelming, and in the case of political campaigns, does not reflect voter reality. The Twitter and Facebook squabbles we all know too well are not a true gauge for voter involvement. We thought we learned our lessons during the 2016 election polling preference fiascoes, but when 2020 rolled around, we were all tricked by polling once again. Why? Because we depended too much on social media to garner votes. And, we failed to see just exactly who is on social media, and for what reasons.
This statement should come as no surprise. What DID surprise me, however, was the demographic reality of interaction via socials.
It is predominately women.
Yes, WOMEN are the people who use social media. According to the Pew Research Center, about 77% of women regularly use social media such as Facebook and Instagram while only 66% of men use the same platforms. Twitter and Reddit are the exceptions, where more men than women users flood the site (perhaps that is why there is a distinct misogyny issue on Twitter specifically.) The research is not clear why this phenomenon is a reality, but many people have opinions.
More interestingly is HOW men and women differ in their use of social media: women use it for communication, men use it for statements. Studies show that women get more “likes” and comments for posts such as family birthdays, food, social engagements outside the home, and posts about their children. They post in order to start conversations. Men receive more interaction when they post on more broad topics they likely already agree with, such as tax rates and who is the GOAT in sports. Likes and comments reinforce the user’s response and perpetuates similar posts on social media, creating an environment ripe with operational conditioning. Psychology had us figured out, all along!
I realize this sounds very generalized. There are obviously myriad examples of the exceptions, but the reality of our habits are difficult to ignore. However, this article is not about what is posted: it is about who is posting and to what end.
A recent development in social media is the exodus from sites such as Facebook and Instagram. They are certainly problematic platforms that have altered the reality of those who use them (including this author.) But, because so much of our lives happens on social media — including elections and politics — many find it difficult to walk away. The sad fact of social media is that since we have so completely incorporated it into our lives, almost all our social obligations are organized through social media. Those who ARE able to cut the cord and disable their accounts share one common thing: they are more than likely men.
Yes, men get to leave social media. I say “get to leave” because their roles on social media are not those of social coordination. Their absence from social media is either not noticed, or they have someone else who is willing to act as their social coordinator.
I want to go back to my work as a campaign manager and social media coordinator. The candidate for whom I worked (also a woman, I may add) reluctantly used social media because it was expected of her as political figure. She yearned for the privacy she deserved, but felt that she had to keep the lines of communication open with potential constituents via social media. One day, we noticed that another elected official (a man in this case) had disabled all his social accounts. It seemed like a shocking privilege this person was able to employ! While female candidates endure harassment and threats via social media, this particular male candidate was somehow immune to not only the harassment, but the repercussions of quietly disabling his Facebook and Twitter accounts.
Again, maybe this seems anecdotal, but it reflects a harsh reality of social media — once women were established as online communicators, they effectively became trapped into a virtual world where they share events, organize meal trains for sick neighbors, RSVP to birthday parties, and coordinate the COVID-safe happy hours that their male partners blissfully enjoy. Men get the privilege of opting out of social media because they know someone else will be their social coordinator. It’s not fair, and social media becomes yet ANOTHER bit of unpaid work women perform on the regular. And, yes, I am talking about chores, childcare, and housework.
Compounding the annoyance of social media is the mass unemployment women are experiencing right now, in early 2021. We have all read the reports of crippling unemployment for women, especially for Black women and women of color. Those who are still employed are tasked with juggling childcare and online school on top of their paid occupations. During all of this upheaval, our lives are more online than ever. Social media is often our only personal interaction with the outside world. We look for jobs on LinkedIn, we write on Medium, we fling our social nets hoping to catch a lead. We check in on friends, knowing that they are also drowning in media and work. All said, many do not have the luxury of ignoring social media. Human beings are social creatures and we collectively mourn that there are no current replacements for online relationships during the Time of COVID. And, we know intimately if we DO walk away from social media, there will be no one to pick up the social slack for women, leading to even more isolation.
Talk about a Catch-22.
Arlie Russell Hockschild warned us in her blockbuster book, The Second Shift, that women bear an unequal burden inside and out of the home. Chores, childcare, and social orchestration are predominantly performed by women, regardless of the amount of hours partners work outside the home. It is unfortunate that social media obligations are the 21st Century addition to the long list of unpaid labor women are expected to perform. Men receiving a free pass to opt out of social media is only a piece of the problem. The real issue is unequal expectations and obligations that continue to plague our society.
